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Sueño de la carne y de los huesos
Just almost when I thought I had seen it all, it struck me surreptitiously where it hurts the most. A morbidly self-obsessed pantomime of an ugly and long smear ridden with nothing but tart, unraveled itself to me and I willingly failed to see that my own instincts were orchestrating it despite being so laden with immeasurable contradictions in my notions and moral dilemmas.
It was an excruciatingly painful repeat of one of my favorite one-liners from the once-upon-a-time love of my life coming from a rather unexpected source. I am a bit ambivalent on saying anything good about it but surely it was an eye-opener to me at a time when my emotions were deliberately and hopelessly nose driven to the abysmal depths of promiscuous carnality. I was saddened to observe that even being addressed by someone else on that note was frustratingly inefficient to take me out from the quagmire of my past, and haplessly I kept on watching myself plunging deeper and deeper into it despite all the fiddling gyrations of mundane pleasure my senses were subjected to.
I was not chuffed at it in the slightest but again the feeling of yet another revealed myth-buster had certainly emerged from the dorm of subjugated desires and fainted hopes by the time I was back to normality. It visibly belied for good the notion of an everlasting yet imaginary belief ingrained in the ‘love’, once offered to me, that was tainted in pretence, ugliness, deceit, hideous pungency and absolute filth.
Admittedly, I have realized now, more than ever, that everything happens for a good reason and almighty knows what the best for everyone. To handle such encounters with the mitts of brutal reality and convolutions of human err, it must be remembered that a lesson learnt must not be revisited, as it’s as easy as relapsing into the pitfalls on the bridges that have been crossed over troubled waters long ago courtesy of the hands of the one who is all in all.
Have a nice life …………
The Tilting Balance
It hardly matters to you when the reality of a situation takes over the mounting labor of bursting emotions. Certainly it feels outlandish to come to terms with it when nothing particularly in life is going wrong with you. This phase seems to me like an ambivalent melancholy hanging on a balance in between my all-pervasive extremes of ecstasy and glum. There is nothing new about it except that this time I have found a safe distance away from the eye of the storm at least for a while. I have no clue about the span of this blissful convenience but may be for the first time in my life it sounds like a possibility to ignore the clamors and chaos of a troubled mind and its doomed existence.
On the spectrum of loss and gain from a very mundane perspective nothing looks more disturbing than the proportional inequilibrium in the favor of loss. It is hard to fathom the subterranean currents harboring the future but the very poignancy of this affair seems to be very much in control of the present. The rest lies marred in the spitefulness of selfless deeds and heartbreaking loyalty to prove the point, which was morally wrong in the first place and was never meant to fight a lost battle towards the salvation of a degraded soul shrouded in the darkness of filth and squalor.
It is hard to get over the life spent while witnessing its plunge into the same abysmal depths of self-denigration and being played down by the deceit of yet another sinisterly act of despicable “opportunism”. While looking at all the freshness around and the gentle swerve in gait by the morning breeze, life at time implies the true meaning of the “shift to eternity”.Have a nice life............